How I Got Here
by myasiansuperpowers
Summary: Little stories that make up who Ricky is today. Eventual Ricky/Amy.
1. Chapter 1

**Second SLAT fic. Rated T for very coarse language, disturbing and frightening scenes, and some drug reference. Fun. Wrote this in like twenty minutes by hand really fast (you should see my handwriting, it's so sloppy). Ricky's story. The last time he gets abused.**

_**Disclaimer: Don't own this Secret Life stuff. Belongs to Brenda Hampton or some shit. **_

"Let Me Die Tonight"

Night time in the hood. So I'll climb onto my mattress. Let these gunshots be my lullaby. And I'll try to fall asleep before he comes. So maybe I'll stay safe tomight.

No such luck.

I can smell him before I see him. Alcohol. I shift uncomfortably in my bed. Shit.

"I know you're awake, you piece of shit!" he slurs savagely. I feel my eyes close tighter. Desperately trying to fall asleep.

"Don't you fake it, you little bitch," He's in front of me now and the smell of alcohol suffocates me. Drags my shaking body off the mattress.

"Dammit! Working my ass off, and when I come home, do I get a hello? Don't I deserve that much _son_?" he slrs nastily. I feel a rush of pain on my face. Blood. I try to open my eyes but his foot meets my face for a second time. Blood rushes out my nose.

"Ungrateful little shit!" he roars. More pain. More blood.

"Fight me! Like a man! Dammit, Ricky, be a fucking man!" River of red, flowing in all directions. Before I can breathe another kick in my chest. Tears threaten to fall.

"I'll teach you a lesson! About being a man! Do you know how damn hard it is to be a fucking man, Ricky?" God, no, not this. I feel a tug at the leg of my pants. Pulling at my dignity at any vision I had of hope. Pulling at everything. Please, God no. Not tonight. Just let me die tonight.

Please God, please, just let me die.

Right here, Ricky Underwood, age thirteen.

I can't live on these broken streets anymore.

And this marijuana air is choking my lungs.

Please don't let me wake up covered in blood any longer.

I don't want anymore pain.

I don't wanna be a man.

Please, just let me die here. Take it all away.

It stops. He leaves the room. So much pain so much blood. No dignity. No love. My lungs barely work. I reach for the mattress. The strength escapes me. I die.

HOURS LATER

Police lights. Outside the house. Distant voices.

"Fucking liar! Sexual abuse? What a damn lie...."

"Abuse or no abuse we found over 4 oz. of heroin in your room, that entitles you to a trip downtown..."

Black again.

I open my eyes. At the police station. Covered in bandages. Oh shit. They know. They know and they're gonna put me in prison with dudes ten times worse than my dad. They know about the time me and Jimmy got high on my dad's pot. Dammit.

"Ricky, we need to talk to you about your father. We found evidence in your room that he was abusing you, " a black officer says. No shit. "We don't think you should stay with him anymore."

Can't think. Confused. "Uh, what?"

"Foster care is probably the best option. You can live with a loving family that cares about you. In a nicer neighborhood, too."

Before I can reply, it goes black again.


	2. Womanizer?

**This chapter will explain to you guys how Ricky Underwood became a "ladies man" haha. Who was the first girl he gave his famous smirk too? How did he get so cocky? And the first girls he ever womanized? I'll be switching from first to third person twice in this, but I think you'll know when. Also I know I used the word "fag" in this chapter. I don't have anything against gay people, but I'm just trying to show how thirteen-year-old guys talk to each other.**

**Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Secret Life or Seventeen Magazine (haha, you'll see). Pike Run is the name of the street my uncle lives on, and Elizabeth is the name of a "hood" in New Jersey. I live in NJ, but not in Elizabeth.**

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Guilt.

My dad is in prison now. And it's my fault. I was the one who told my teacher what he was doing to me. I know he is a sick guy. But I was never a good kid. I cut class, I got into fights, I talked back to teachers. I was always in trouble. So maybe I deserved it.

I mean, I hate my dad, he was a sick asshole. But despite knowing that, I can't help but hate myself too.

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So the caring family and nice neighborhood that the officer had promised me isn't so bad. There's four other foster kids besides me here. All of them are at least four years younger than me. My new parents, Margaret and Wayne Walters are really nice. They gave me my own room in the basement, since I was the oldest. It's so huge. There's an actual bed, not just a mattress. Not to mention a TV and a drum set. I don't play drums, but they're pretty cool, so I don't know, maybe I'll learn to play.

I'll admit, it's kind of boring in this town-- Pike Run I think it's called. And I miss my friends, especially my best friend Jimmy Wells. But I sure as hell don't miss my house- or my family.

I think I'll go outside and check out my new "hood". See what suburbia has to offer.

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Ricky Underwood walked out of his brand new 3-bedroom house and was instantly warmed by the too-hot August sun. He stared at all the nondescript houses on his street. They were almost identical, evenly spread out, with perfect lawns, and nice middle class cars parked neatly in a well-paved driveway. It was a little disturbing actually. They made Ricky's old neighborhood seem like a bunch of old beat-up books crammed together on a tiny shelf.

Walking down the sidewalk, looking at all the homes and cars, Ricky spotted a very pretty girl around his age. Maybe this would be a good time to make a new friend...?

He didn't have much experience with girls. None of the girls back home really went for the white boys. But he decided to "play it cool" like his best friend Jimmy Wells had taught him. Walking past the girl, Ricky smiled what he thought was a cool smile. It might have worked, because she smiled back at him and said hi,

"Um, hi. I'm Ricky," he said.

"Hey Ricky! I'm Erin. Are you like new here?" she tousled her hair, like she had read in a teen magazine. Her overly-girly voice made Ricky cringe a little on the inside... but she was hot... so whatever, right?

"Yeah, I just moved into that house over there" he pointed. Erin knew that people already lived in that house. It was a black couple, so there was no way Ricky could be their son. But she refrained from further questioning. Ricky was totally hot, and kind of mysterious. She did not want to lose her chance with him.

"Oh that's cool. So where did you like move from?"

Ricky looked at the ground, "Uhhh... Elizabeth," he replied reluctantly.

"Really?" her eyes widened, "That's really cool!" she exclaimed

Ricky laughed, surprised that she thought being from Elizabeth was cool, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," she said truthfully, "Everyone here is so boring. Your life is probably so exciting. Have you ever been in a fight?" she asked.

Not sure what she meant by a fight Ricky responded, "Yeah, I've been in a few fights. Not with guns or anything, but you know," Ricky explained.

_Oh my God. He's totally hot, really cool, and he's BAD. _Erin thought to herself. If she got with Ricky, her friends would be completely jealous.

She decided to take a risk, "So, there's an ice cream place not too far from here. Maybe you can tell me all about that over a sundae?" she suggested If this didn't work, she would go home, cancel her _Seventeen_ subscription and write to the editors telling them that they were completely full of shit.

"Sure, I could do that," Ricky was still playing it cool. He accidentally smirked. Shit, now he probably seemed like he was a jerk.

_Oh my God!! _Thought Erin._ His smile is so... mysterious. _Obviously his jerk smile was effective. Erin looked like she was about to faint. He did it again.

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"Hey man," Jimmy Wells said over the phone.

"Hey."

"So, how's Pike Run?" Jimmy scoffed at the name.

"It's actually great. I went to this end of the summer party two nights ago," Ricky filled him in.

"Nice. Was the booze good? Since it's a rich place and all?"

"Actually, the party was kinda lame. No booze. It was at some Christian's house. John or Jack or some shit. He's such a fag. Actually all the guys our age here are fags." Ricky replied truthfully.

"The party didn't have booze. And the town is full of fags. Why do you think the town is so great then, dude?" Jimmy asked, obviously confused.

"The girls, man! Dude, they love me here!! Remember none of the girls liked me in Elizabeth cause they 'didn't go for white guys'? Not here" Ricky exclaimed.

"Score! Did you get with any of 'em?"

"Dude, I got to _choose_ which ones I got with. So only really hot girls. I went for a new one everyday. I could have gotten more, but there's a difference between player and a manwhore," Ricky bragged.

"Whatever, man. You lyin'," Jimmy dismissed.

"Dude, I'm serious."

"You got with five girls in five days?" Jimmy sounded like he believed him.

"Well, four. The first girl, Erin, I was with for two days,"

"How far you get?"

"The first three girls, I got to second base. But the fourth girl, she wasn't as hot as the first girl, but she was sixteen and she was so fuckin' easy. She gave me head!!" Ricky sounded like a little kid who got his favorite toy.

"Shit!! Dude, when can I come over?" Jimmy half joked.

"Whenever. Man, they'll love you. Your brother became a Crip right? Yeah, they'll think that's totally badass. Suburban rich girls love that."

"Sweet!! Imma go ask my mom when I can come over and hook up with these easy-ass women!"

Ricky laughed, "Alright, I'll see you then. Bye,"

"Bye." The phone clicked off.

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So Pike Run isn't so bad. I mean, a sixteen-year-old gave me head. Whoa, Pike Run is great! All the guys here are complete tools. But who cares, I don't need guy friends. I've got Jimmy and more women than I can ask for. Life's good.

I never really thought I was all that good-looking. But maybe I am. My hair is pretty decent. It's not a curly mess like Randy's, my foster brother. I'm pretty tall for my age. And after living in the hood all my life where you need to be able to protect yourself, it's inevitable that I'm pretty built. My face... I guess it's good. No major flaws or anything.

I hear a voice in the back of my head saying, "Don't be so damn modest, dude. You're a freakin' god. Women worship you!"

I know, right? If I was a girl, I'd wanna fuck me too.

**Read and Review. And what do you guys think of Jimmy's character? Good? Or should I cut him out of the story. By the way, eventually this will probably be an Amy/Ricky.**


	3. To be loved

**Hi everyone. Thank you very much for all the reviews, I really appreciate them. In this chapter Ricky is in ninth grade, just so you know. Is he a junior or a sophomore in the show? I always thought he was a sophomore, so that's what I'll make him when I get to present tense.**

**I know my summary says eventual Ricky/Amy. The next chapter will be about band camp... yay! And I've already written a chapter about Amy, the baby, and Ricky. But that obviously won't come until much later.**

"So you're taking your finals next week. How have you been preparing?" Ken Fields, Ricky's psychologist asked.

"Well, I've been getting with more girls. I don't wanna be stressed out," Ricky smirked, knowing his response would irk Dr. Fields.

"Okay... What about the academic part of taking the final? You did surprisingly very well last year, you councillor said. Are you studying yet?" Ken tried again.

"No. And I don't plan on it," Ricky lied.

Ken laughed. 'I know you will. You're a lot of things, but you're not a slacker."

Ricky rolled his eyes. He was getting a little sick of Dr. Fields acting like hew knew Ricky so well. Especially since he was always right. "Alright. Can I go now? I have a date."

"We still have twenty minutes. So tell me....what are you doing for your date?" Ken already knew the answer.

"The usual," Ricky stated simply.

"Ricky, going to girl's homes and sleeping with them is not a date," Ken shook his head.

Ricky grinned. "They don't care."

"Have you ever considered getting a steady girlfriend?"

"No." Ricky said flatly.

"Why not?"

"Why would I want to sleep with the same girl when I could get a new one every night?" Ricky reasoned.

"Because that one girl would love you. And you may not think that matters, being loved. But that's only because you feel like you've never been loved. And that's why you do this. Sleep around. Because maybe you're just too afraid to be loved." Ken explained.

"Why would I be afraid?" Ricky said in a condescending voice, although knowing full well that Ken was right.

"I think you know why better than I do." Ken stated.

"Whatever. Listen I really need to go now." Ricky was getting a little sick of being read like an open book.

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Ricky walked down the hallways of his new high school. Ricky decided to cut his next class. Life Skills. He wasn't sure why he had gotten it, but it was the stupidest class ever. It taught high schoolers how to take care of babies. There was no point in going. It's not like he would be having kids anytime soon.

With nothing to do but aimlessly roam the hall's of Grant High School, he began to think about what Dr. Fields told him. It was true, he was afraid of loving someone, and being loved.

"Everyone leaves," Ricky mumbled. It didn't make sense how anyone could expect him to love people, to for relationships, or make friends. People always eventually leave for something better. His parents had loved him, but then they found heroin. And that stuff made them a lot happier than a whining kid ever could. Jimmy Wells had once been best friends with him. But then Jimmy decided he could have more fun breaking the law in a gang than playing basketball with Ricky.

Maybe if Ricky ever fell in love with a girl she'd leave him for drugs, or to become a criminal, or for another guy.

"Or maybe she wouldn't," a voice, sounding a little like Dr. Fields' said in his head. Ricky knew he eventually, he would listen to Dr. Fields and try to get a girlfriend.

Band camp would start in three weeks. He wasn't excited about it before, but maybe he could use it as an opportunity to start something new. To maybe get a girlfriend, a steady one... and be exclusive with her. It wouldn't be easy. Actually, him being monogamous would be really difficult. But he couldn't help thinking about was Dr. Fields said about being loved. Margaret herself had said that it was the best feeling in the world. And if all the girls his age would kill to fall in love-- it must be pretty spectacular.

So it was decided. At band camp, Ricky Underwood would be in search of a girl to be his girlfriend. Preferably a girl he usually didn't go after-- a classy one. Since most of the girls he dated were... promiscuous to be putting it lightly.

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**This was a filler chapter, kind of. As you can tell I'm setting up for the band camp chapter, which I promise will have a lot more action in it, so to speak. I just wanted to tie a few loose ends together-- stuff like that. But please review anyways.**


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